Surviving

Someone asked how I was recently. I said, "I am alive, doesn't mean I am living, just surviving." They proceeded to ask why I was just surviving.

I just filled in my calendar for next week with the kids. We are cruising along in school but it seems that I am at an impasse in my outside life. I have so much work to do for the one class I am taking but I just don't want to do it. It all seems like busy work as well as a waste of paper. One assignment is going to be at least 30 pages if not 45. That's a lot of paper for us to critique 15 websites. On top of the fact that I really do not think she's going to read all of it or care if we show the homepage of each. O well, only one term, or 114 days till graduation and not as much hoop jumping for at least three months.

As for the next six months. I was also asked what my plans are. For those of you who care, my big New York adventure starts in July when I have to liquidate my apartment by the 5th. On the sixth I plan to head to Vegas for a friend's wedding, assuming I am invited, then from there on the 9th to Ithaca for camp. I'll be at camp until the 6th of August. At which time I hope to have my cousin fly out and meet me to go to Niagara falls and on to NYC. I hope to find a decent apartment close to my school in the week that my cousin is there. Then ... live until school starts in late August. Crazy hu?

Email em if you have any questions about how it is going to work or want me to keep in touch about what's happening and stuffs. Off to finish the school day!

Going Crazy...

Happy Valentines Day to all of you out there that actually celebrate. I am alone this Valentines Day... that's right. ALONE!!! Not that I'm single again, I am just physically alone.. poor boy is in Portland while I am stuck here in Eugene. It will be a sad day, but I can always look down at the pretty hanging around my neck. My 1/5Th of a carat necklace from Eric and know that he would be here if he could. He'll be down this weekend so I am excited.

As for school, it's going well. The kids are great and I love teaching. I am enjoying my teaching, it seems that I am making progress with some of the kids which is the best thing. My only wish is that my teacher allow me to fully take over and not step in as much. I think that she sees the noise level going up from the side and does not let me handle it. I think that it is giving the students a mixed message with her still stepping in and kind of takes away my authority... but that's just me. I realize that they are getting louder and most of the time I am OK with a little chatter but some of it might be that I am working so much individually with some kids that I don't have time to see what else is going on. I think that I can develop this is she points it out to me rather than just stop the entire show. We shall see...she will be gone three of four days next week so I am excited to see what becomes of the class when she's not here.

On a side note, I think it is interesting that every time I walk them down the hall making sure they are in a quite straight line that they seem to earn a class point from another teacher. Why is that? O, wait I remind them the entire time we are walking that they should be in a straight line and not talking. Straight line and not talking is what earns points around this school.... the more points the more free time we get, or pajama day or something.

Progress is happening slowly around here. Gotta love it.

No NYC update as of yet. I'll keep you posted.

Life on the Edge

O how my life has been on the edge lately. I am going to class, I am teaching 5 days a week, and I am working the other two. As for my life outside of school and work... there is not one. I love Eric but he's been so busy lately I see him less and less and talk to him less and less. As for friends, why is it when a person who NEVER calls calls I'm in class. It happens right?!?!

I guess I want a life but I also want money. Someone asked me today why I am working so much.. to which I responded "bills and spending money. Moving to NYC in... 6 months... less than 6 months (Side note... HOLY CRAP!!!) I need money to get me over there." They looked at me like I was crazy, then agreed that it was good for me to work.

Ok... now I am distracted. New York is actually less than SIX months away.. holy crap. Well this shall be interesting. I think I have enough money to move... I need to start thinking about a plain ticket to camp, along with all the paper fun for SuperCamp. I can't wait for camp, which is only five months away. That means graduation, that means Carrie's wedding, that means Capstone.... so many things need to happen before NYC but NYC is only four months away. Don't forget I still have to go to NYC to get a position at a school. Good thing dad said he will pay for that trip...maybe I can even get hotel/hostel fees out of him. We shall see.

K I really should get back to class and the Autism we are learning about today.

Disappointment

There are somethings in this world that people just want support on. New York and my dream of moving there is one thing that I need to be supported on. When people say that it is 'bad news' that I am moving it does not make me feel very good. I am making the decision to move away, to turn my whole world upside down, and to try something new, yet there are still people out there who are being selfish and want me to stay to make them happy. I guess I don't understand why anyone would say this.

I am pondering where to go from here. Is it them being selfish, assuming that after college I was going to come home and be a perfect little part of the family again or is it me being selfish wanting to start my life somewhere else where I don't HAVE to be part of the family. I love my family, dont get me wrong but is it so wrong that I want to move away, start fresh where I do not have to be a apart of it on a daily basis? Should I want to move home, and make sure I am there as my nieces and nephews grow up? Should I be more than the 'cool aunt in NYC?' (that's my goal by the way).

Also take into consideration that most of my family will never have the extra cash to come visit me in NYC it will be up to me to come visit and spend the money. I guess I am totally ok with coming home for holidays, especally since Eric's family is here. But I want to have my own family in a new place. (whether the family is hubby and I or adding kids).

I guess it comes down to I have a job. I am moving and people can be happy for me or not. People can accept my adult decision or not. And people can blame who ever they want. It's my decision, it's happening and I am SUPER EXCITED!

A stab at it....

My boyfriend has started this blog thing where instead of blogging about his real like he blogs a fake life making up as much or as little as he wants. I think I want to give it a try. AKA This post is NOT real and the events that happen are NOT true.

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Today was the first of many. Today I officially took over my class in student teaching at the local elementary school in my small town. Yep that's right, the local elementary school..the ONLY elementary school in town. This is what happens when you live in a small town. My college decided it would be the best for me to not travel to the city to do my student teaching but rather work at the only elementary in this small town I call home.
See, I am one person who loves my small town. Driving into the city each and every day for classes at the university was more of a pain than a joy, being able to stay in my small town and enjoy life is what I enjoy the most.

Small towns are also great when it comes to classes. I have 15 students in my third grade class. The students are all bright with no issues what so ever. They love to learn, their parents set them up nicely for school and I have all the money I could want to buy supplies for school. We started my work sample this week, the Oregon Trail. Oregon Trail is usually a fourth grade activity but these kids are so advanced my teacher thought it would fit them accordingly. They are loving the unit and having fun traveling over the trail.

Math is the only issue with this class. They want to work faster than the book and it is hard to keep up with their needs and wants. The classroom I work in needs stations for the kids to work at when done and I can't wait to set them up. The other idea is to add music to our transition time to get the kids to transition from one activity to the next just a little quicker. So that's a run down of my first day... we shall see about the next five weeks! Wish me luck!

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Ok, so let me know what you think about my not so real blog.