Mondays are a bummer (STATIONS)

Tuesday's only fair. Wednesday's getting better...Thursday's almost there...

Ok. Its only Tuesday but today was WAY better than yesterday. Monday was a BADD day. Between it being Monday, the high stake testing in the morning, and Halloween week, Monday was such a bad day. The kids just would not listen... they were not even reading what I gave them.

This week I started a new leaf with the kids. We are trying stations. There are three or four stations that the kids are working on. I thought it was a GREAT idea. The kids... well. I think it is a change that they are not so willing to go with. A change in routine seems to throw them off totally. Next week is going to be interesting for them.

They are going to start being held accountable for their work. Each class period students are going to get a grade. It might be a check or a minus or a plus but each time they are in my class they will get one. This will help keep them accountable. Some of the kids are going to be confused when they find out they are failing technology.

As for the stations. students will be at one station for two class periods. The stations include:

• story starters. writing their own story starters which will evolve into writing a story with another groups starters
• vocabulary words in inspiration. defining their weekly vocabulary words on the computer making a long list that we can print
• powerpint. students are changing a pre-made slide into a unique slide. showing basic skills in powerpoint.
• typing. Students are using the internet to practice their touch typing skills.

Like I said, I think these are great ways to use the skills that we have aquired so far this year. As they get used to the stations, I can change the activites to reflect new programs. That way the old stations studetns will know what to do and I can teach to a small group. Hopefully this works. I will keep you updated.

As for Tuesday. Tuesday was a good day minus my worst class. What am I supposed to do when students run out of class? There really is nothing I can do but let them go because I have 20 other kids in the room that need to be tended to.

Later yall.

Begging for more picts

Hey yall. So I had a request for more pictures of the apartment. You will have to wait.. I am too lazy to get out the camera and hook it up and all that good stuff. So wait. Its just about clean so when it is perfect I will hook yall up.

As for my weekend. It was a goood weekend.

Saturday was filled with the usual Manhattan adventures. Kira and I headed towards a new theater to see the new movie "Dan In Real Life". It was a GREAT movie. The plot was a little like The Family Stone, but a different prospective and better acting. The characters in this movie fit together so well it was amazing. The theater we went to was SO nice. Because we saw a new movie it was in the HUGE theater. This theater had a mezzanine level where we sat. It was SO awesome.

After the movie I spoiled Kira's shopping plans and invited her to watch the UO Duck game with me at a local bar. It was a lot of fun with the fanatic people that usually are drunk at games being drunk next to me 3,000 miles away from Autzen! After the game we parted and headed home but it was a GREAT day.

My Sunday has actually been a productive day. I was up by like 730 and went for some essential groceries. After that I did laundry. I was done with laundry and home by noon. What to do with the rest of my day? Clean the house! I spent the rest of my day cleaning my house. Between the like 7 small bags of garbage and the massive amount of cat hair from the floor, it was a BIG job that's not all the way over quite yet. I need to do some dishes and sweet the dining room and kitchen.

Time to head off to find some food. Hope you enjoy hearing about my adventures... however lame they might be. Later yall

Freaking out

So. Gotta love the city and their data driven ways.

Everything in this city is all abotu the numbers. This is true for many things. One of these things is the survey that was given last spring. With the dismal number of students, parents and even staff that filled out the actual survey, the results were not good. What they actually were... we are not sure yet but we were given tiny parts of information.

One of these things is that the parents believe that the information about home are not making it to school and being integrated into the students education. AKA If grandma was in the hospital and the students missed a couple of days because there was no one to make sure the student got to school, the teachers were not sensative to the situation.

The other part to this is that parents are not seeing what is happening at school, they only see how their kid is progressing in grades. To circumvent this problem the administration has come to the conclusion that students need to have goals. These goals need to be in every aspect of their education. English/language arts, math, art, drama, TECHNOLOGY. The principal wants to be able to show the parents who is working towards what goals with each student.

That's right. Each and every student that I work with has to have an individual goal to lead their learning. That means I need to make goals with about 400 students. That includes all of my kinder through 5th graders. Every.. single...one. This should be interesting. How am I to do this you ask... any way I want. Absoletly no direction from the higher ups. Fun.

On top of this, my direct supervisor does not actually speak to me. I guess I can't say that. He says HI to me once and a while. I guess I would think that my direct supervisor would want to meet with me, figure out what I am actually doing in the classroom... you would think. I guess I need to step up and talk to him... which of course is kinda scarry. We shall see how it goes. Wish me luck.

I had a nice long weekend... almost

It was a good weekend. I sware. Just not a good start to the week.

Saturday was filled with time in the city. After meeting Kira for a long lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen (damn good by the way) I headed out for an afternoon on the town. AKA... wasting time until the game started. By the game I mean the duck game that didn't start until 730 my time. I spent most of the time listening to my latest book on tape (or iPod as it has to be) called Ain't She Sweet? Good book so far. I ended up about 8 hours into the 10 hour book. It s a good book about a rebellious teenager who, 15 years later, returns home to a small southern town. Its good. I have been getting all my books from Audible.com. Good source, but there are a lot of British books, which I am not all that into as a listen to book. After watching the first half of the game I headed home bc of exhaustion.

After a long Saturday my Sunday was nice and short. I slept and vegged till almost 3. I didnt want to shower because of the lack of shampoo in my bathroom. After some hard willing I finally got dressed and headed towards the drug store. I poked around some and finally bought my shampoo and conditioner. Then I headed to the grocery store and got some essentials. I acutally went home and put things away. AFter finishing some lesson plans I headed to bed. A short but good day.

Ahh.. Monday morning. Gotta love it. As I waited for the water in my shower to get warm I thought about how dirty my hair was without having been washed yesteryday and how good it would feel to wash it. After climbing in the shower I wet my hair and reached down for the shampoo.... shampoo... SHAMPOO... where was the shampoo? O crap. I got two bottles of conditioner... no shampoo. CRAPOLA!!! fine.. another day towards dirty hair. Off to school I went.... o well.

Annie in the city

Life is pretty boring around my house when I have no one around after work. I don't do anything. All this stuff to do and all I want to is go home and sleep. That's how exhausting my job is. But I really need to get up and moving. If I don't get up and get moving soon, this is going to be come habit and that CANT happen. We shall see...

Ah.. its been SO long

I am SO sorry it has been so long to my loyal readers (if there are any). It has been a long couple of weeks. Between school and personal life I have not had time to sit (unless falling alseep watching tv counts)....

School has been busy like always. These kids are crazy. I knew they were going to be a challenge, but I definately have one class that is AMAZING! These kids are insanely amazing. (makes me feel good that it's my mentors class!) Then I have kinder and first, they are crazy but are good. The fourth grade is good overall... Then there is the fifth grade. Besides the angel class discribed above, the fifth grade as a whole is quite interesting. The class I just got done with is CRAZY!!! The last three times I have been in there we have had students walk out and disappear. Today it was because one couldnt ues the computers.. so he walked out and disappeared totally. gone... the teacher tried to find him and finally called security to find him. Its just crazy what can set these kids off.

The personal life stuff. Eric has actually been here for ten days now... well.. he is headed towards the airport as I type. Probably just getting on the subway. I am very sad about this. It has been a great visit. I love having him here. Someone to do stuff with.. someone to come home to. It is great. We did stuff like, the United Nations tour, we did the Staten Island Ferry, Chelsea Piers, The really flat building (cant remember the name right now), Limbardi's Pizza (OMG!!! everyone who comes here HAS GOT TO have pizza there even if I cant spell it right), a good Chinese restruant in China town. We were everywhere, but at the same time I was nice to have someone to cuddle up to when I fell asleep on the couch at 8pm bc it was such a long day.

Will he move? Not sure yet. Still depends on when he gets a job. He had a bunch of informational interviews this week, some good some a waste of time, but it should be good. I cant wait to have him here in the city all the time. If he could move right now he could get the apartment under me and we would be living super close. But with rent being as much as he has total in his savings that wouldnt work out well. O well. We shall see.

My lunch break is just about over so I should scoot towards the resst of my day. At least I have fourth grade the rest of the day. They tend to do good... laters

quick lunch post

Wow.. question. when did side pony tails come back into style? It seems that everyone in NYC wears them and they are SO cool. just asking....

A Day in the City

It was a great day in the city today. The day started off with weird dreams. Everything from a weird dream about a new sport to a high school joke coming true... weird. dont ask...
Next I headed into the city, aka Manhattan, for a movie. My friend and I saw "Good Luck Chuck". The BEST thing ever happened. For the first time ever I got carded for a rated R movie. After buying out tickets we proceded to the ticket taker old man who was hunched over he took them and in his horse voice "can I see ID? Its a rated R movie." So poping out our id's and laughing we proceded into the theater. Only minutes later did a girl and her mom walk in... the girl being no more than like 10 MAYYYBE 11. OMG! Interesting.... not really. If you love raunchy sex montages, REALLY bad acting, and the horrible best friend who cant get enough boobs, you would LOVE this movie. I have no idea who would take their child to this movie, but o well... not mine!
After the movie I headed towards the local home goodie store... The Container Store. The best store ever!!! I got a shelf for the bathroom along with some towel hangers for the bath. Then had to make a stop for cat food and Staples for more cork boards for the bedroom. Of course, living in the city without a car it was FUN to carry this all back on the subway! Good thing the container store wraps everything for carrying.
When I got home I worked and worked and worked on the house so it would look presentable. So because I spent SO much time working today I decided I need to post more pictures.

This is my entertainment center that I put together.. what you think?
The bedroom. Cork boards I just put up today and the air mattress. How bad is it that the crooked cork board is driving me nutz in this picture!?!?!
The bathroom with mynew shelf. Gotta love the duckies.
The kitchen wide angle.
The kitchen counter. Microwave and all. this is ALL the counter space I have.

Another Week

It was a pretty uneventful week. There was one over lying theme though. Save Ms. Erickson's voice. That's right. After yelling at kids for three weeks I basically lost my voice. By Friday my poor voice was giving out. Way too much yelling and talking to kids. It will be much of the same this week.

The one fun event was on Friday in a fourth grade class. As the class ended and we started to get ready to walk to lunch, from the closet came a stong stench. What I can only assume was AXE coming from a student. Which one, not really sure, but they definately sprayed WAY too much in a very small spot. BAD!!!!

O. And Eric will be here next Saturday. I am super excited. He is actually coming on a three day weekend for me. He is coming to make sure he wants to keep looking for job here (aka does ne REALLY want to live and work in the city). And also, hopefully the headhunter he's been talking to will meet with him. I can't wait to see him! Its gunna be a GREAT week. I just gotta get ahead in my school work so that I can spend every moment with him that I can. And Bri will be here in three weeks! So exciting!

laters

A week in review

It was an interesting week.

Monday. Walking into school I wanted to check and see when I had a class again, because they were not on my schedule. In doing this I relaized that the schedule I had did not match the teachers. So... heading down to the schedule goddess, she quickly filled up the holes in my schedule. Filling them with the class I was looking for and a special education class. I had no issues with this, minus the issues of traveling. (Traveling issues: out to the annex. Out to the annex includes going outside, acrossa bout 50 feet of uneven bricks, up the ramp, and through the double doors.) On Wednesday I dont mind this because I head out there and do not come back till the end of theday. On Monday however... they had me going from the annex to the third floor and back out to the annex.. all before lunch. Doesn't that sound like way fun???
Well before we move on to Tuesday... I have to tell you about my Monday class out in the annex. Well. This class is a class of three students who are very low functioning students who are third grade. This is all fine and dandy... until the student turns to me and pukes. Thats right. One student turns to me while we were sitting at the computer and puked on my arm. As I got up and ran away the poor girl kept puking and puking. All over the floor. It was so grose, but at the same time I had to keep focus and make sure the student got into the bathroom and the other two kids stayed out of the puke. It was FUN! All I have to say is that at least she didnt get any on my clothes... just my arm.

Tuesday. Tuesday was ok. It was inspiring to me as the tech teacher. I talked to the person above me when it comes to technology. I asked for flashdrives for all of my computers and she said yes right away. Thats so good. So hopefully I will get them soon so we can start using them as we start to do projects. We shall see how it goes. I also learned that I need to have lesson plans for each lesson that I teach. These lesson plans are not .. this is what I am going to do. These lesson plans are like they make you do in college. The fun exception for me is that I get to do this for each lesson AND make sure it is different for each different assistant principal that I have. Thats right... three different formats. Doesn't that sound like fun!? O yes!

Wednesday... it was not bad at all. It was just a long day. We had a fire drill today. I could not believe how quickly we got all 1,300 kids out of the building. It was quick.. it was easy. Best fire drill I have ever seen. I was very impressed. After the fire drill I went about my day. Good over all. Not much to report besides the fact that it was my Friday. That's right, Thursday and Friday are days off this week because of a Jewish holiday. Score.

So. Thursday I waited around the apartment for my couch to FINALLY show up.. instead they called me at 1 pm and said it wasnt coming because they had a driver call in sick. The guy asked if that was ok.. I went postal on him. What am I supposed to do? Did I really have a choice?!? i guess not. So because my couch was not coming I decided to go get a haircut. I have wanted a haircut since the last time one that I got. So, I figured I would try the SuperCuts down in Manhatten because at least they might now white girl hair. Wrong!!! All I have to say is it is WAY too short. WAy WAY WAY too short. So short and horrible I am not taking any pictures for like a month!

Friday... Friday I finally got my couch and set it up. Its nice but I am still getting used to the stiffness. Then I ventured out to get some shot glasses to finish the 12 in my collection on my wall. Then I headed towards the movie theater. I saw a rather interesting movie about social groups, one in particular in the country outside NYC. The main character uses it as a study of different cultures. Its an interesting movie, but I would not recommend it to anyone.

Saturday.. Today has been a day of rest. I have done nothing of importance. Literally. Besides this blog! Thats it! O well.

Im off to veg and find some dinner. Chat you later

September 11th in New York

Around the city today it has been a day of remberence. This morning my school observed 4 minutes of scilence, like the entire city. One minute for each plane that hit and one minute for each tower that fell. It is hard to believe its been six years since the tragity happened. Days like today make you realize just how much you have done. Sept 11th is one of the life changing days that you will always know and is a bookmark in a life.

For me, I was a senior in high school. I remember they had been hit by the time I got up and by the time I got to school both towers had fell. I remember my high school physics teacher trying to get us to turn off the tv.. to pay attention to class. Needless to say it didnt work. I will forever remember getting to school and going between the band room, chemestry room and the physics room checking on different channels.

But more than the memories I have, I have a bookmark in my life. High school graduation didn't really give the POP that you think it will (I'll dive more into the POP of life later...) but more than anything it was another day. But September 11th made life so different. Each year I think "Wow.. another year..." Like today, six years. Six years since..everything!

Last night of freedom...

Tonight is the last night before I become Ms. Erickson. For the last two years I have been walking into classrooms of other people, helping out and living by their rules. Although I do not have my own classroom, tomorrow I will be a teacher. The students will see me as a teacher, as a staff member.

I am totally freaked out and excited at the same time. I am going back and forth about whether I am sad about not having my own classroom. I am sad... I have been working towards my own clasroom for so long, but I am also excited to do technology. Technology, to me, is very important to round out the whole child and if I can share that with both the students and my fellow staff members I will have done my job. In the future I really want my own classroom, and hopefully those that be know that and will watch my potential carefully.

As for tomorrow. I will update you on how it goes and what I will actually be doing. Wish me luck and watch for updates.

~Ms. Erickson!

Knowing The Self

As we enter college, we think... I know myself. There is nothing that I do not know....
As we leave college, we think... I know myself. There is nothing that I do not know....

Then we step into the real world.

Over the last weeks, you all know, I have been experiencing a paradigm shift. I have stepped away from all that I know, into a new world. A world that is so different... the people around me (being the only white girl on the subway), the idea that all kids can and will learn (much different than what I saw at most Oregon schools), and the lack of friends around to comfort me and spend time with.

Looking at these three shifts, each seems to warrant some writing time.

On the New York City subway you can tell where you are by the people on the train. In the Bronx, the black and Hispanic people that surround you, mostly speak Spanish and always look tired from a long days work. Whether they are coming or going, it is hard to tell but they mostly friendly to the out of place white girl. As you ride south from the Bronx, into the city, the crowd seems to look more cheerful, whiter and seem to all wear suits. After hitting about 72nd street you know (after a while) who is and is not a tourist. After all, the two train goes straight into Times Square.

The message that I keep getting around here, from my principal, the training specialists, and the chancellor is: all children can learn. In Oregon it was all about testing, making sure the teacher does their job and then making sure that the kids are passing their tests. Maybe i was not privy to the opening staff meeting where teachers were given the 'here we go speech' but it seems that , although we need to get our test scores up, it is more about the child learning and making sure the child has learned rather than just passing some tests. The vibe I get over here just seems so different... it happens because everything here is so different.

The lack of friends around here is so different for me. I have known since high school that I am not good at making friends, my freshman year in college I seemed to come out of it realizing that I had no real friends, ones that I would hang onto. This is why I became an RA. Resident Assistant meant live in friends, people who were paid to hang out with me basically. This worked... I have Eric, I have Meghan and Colleen. Good friends that came from a forced situation. Living with Jess made it a good, but I knew that I was not going to hang out with her friends because I was socially awkward. I knew it.. it happens. But here. Here there are no social networks, such as RA live in friends, that I have.

I guess my point through all of this is that: I have no idea who I am. I look at the people on the subway and wish I was them. Better looking legs, better hair, reading a more intellectual book, having friends to hang out with. I wish I was all of them. At 23 I have realized I have no idea who I am. No I am not talking about professionally, as some do, I have no idea who I am personally. I have no idea what I like to do... at least stuff that I can do alone or in groups. One other person I am ok.. but more than that I have so many issues, and alone I am just not sure what to do with myself.

I am trying to make a change. This is my resolution. I want to take art classes... pottery or painting. I want to develop something besides my insecurities. Hey, maybe I will actually make some friends. Also I want to take some Spanish classes, so that I can actually speak to my students and give me a leg up in the teaching game.

Am I the person I want to be? No. Can I work towards being that person? Hopefully. Life is going to change. Starting now. I want to live for today and tomorrow. We shall see. Keep checking back for updates.

Frustration

As I embark on my adventures in New York City, I seem to keep saying... when school starts... when payday comes.... when I make friends... this really worries me. I have been saying when... statements all my life. When high school is over... when I go to college... when I go to NYC...

I seem to keep living in the future. I did this through out college and look where it got me.... not so many friends throughout most of college....... So many questions about how my life would have been different in college if I had actually gone out my freshman year and all the other times that I could have done things different.

The reason I bring this up is because of the new chapter that I am starting in my life. NYC is kinda a big place and I want to make the right impression, but at the same time I am not sure how to go about it. I called the girl I met last week and she hasn't called back.. why... I am not sure. We shall see.. it also seems that all of the 'new' teachers at my school are new to the school and the profession but not really right out of college.. aka not my age. It should be interesting.

In talking to my principal today (well... depends on what you call talking. she was talking to the other person in the room) it seems that I will be more of a technology coach rather that a technology teacher. That excites me. I am so excited to be able to show people technology and how it can enhance their classrooms. Although I would say that I am not jealous of others setting up their classrooms, but we shall see.

Ahhh.. the ramblings of a blogger.. laters y'all

Time to update!

Sorry to all of you out there that are actually reading my blog! I have been a horrible person who has not update in a while. Life in New York is going well. The past three days I have been in city wide orientation with teachers from all over the city of NY. Its definitely an eye opener to walk into a room with 3000 other teachers and realize that we are all new, when districts in Oregon are likely to not even have that many teachers all together. But I guess the biggest fact that they said yesterday is the 1.1 million students that will be in the NYC public schools this year. 1.1 million... holy crap!

As for the apartment, its coming along very slowly. Mom sent some of my boxes from home today, so hopefully I will have some more to decorate with. My apartment is still very empty... my first piece of ordered stuff came today. Ironically it was the bookshelf I ordered on Tuesday, rather than the stuff I ordered over a week ago. I have done NOTHING today because I have been waiting for UPS to show up with my TV and my rug. I will be SO happy to finally get a tv... I have the cable guy scheduled for tomorrow morning so my stuff better come today... with it being 6:50 pm I am getting a littttle worried! We shall see. See... I still have only an air mattress in the apartment so I cannot wait for something else to sit on!

The best thing in the world from home comes tomorrow (besides Eric of course) SUZIE!!! Suzie will be arriving tomorrow morning at 730 am... which means I will be up and out of my apartment by 530... but I am SO happy to finally get her. I miss her so much and am SO excited to get her. I kept trying to tell Eric I would give him the cash if he flew her out, but it didn't fly with his not having a job, without having money, and not having parents that will help him with moving expenses when the time comes. Sad but I shall have to live. I will jsut be excited to have the kitty here with me. Someone to cuddle up with at night, as long as she doesn't pop the air mattress!!!!

That's how life is here. I hope that ya'll are enjoying the end of the summer. Don't forget to email me updates, incase some of you out there (who talked to me before I left) have went and got new jobs and all..... laters

Pictures

Pictures of the Apartment.

In front of the apartment. (eveyone say mcdonalds) Looking out the bedroom.
Looking out of the kitchen towards the eating area/ entry way
bathroom
kitchen

new york new york

I made it! I am in the big apple and not leaving. The last two days have consisted of many hours on the subway from Manhatten up to the Bronx. Three apartments later I put down a deposit on an apartment today.

The first apartment we saw was a studio for 850 a month. It was small but it would have worked for just me. It was plenty close to school but mom and I did not want to take the first place we saw. Which makes total sense. The next place we looked at was a one bedroom apartment for 1100 which is not bad. It is actually a little bigger than my Eugene apartment jsut because of a different layout. After not wanting to take the second one we looked at we headed home (to the hotel). I looked again on craigs list last night, found a few more and called this morning. AFter etting a hold of only one of them we went to find it... still close to school but it was a two bedroom for 1450, which with just me as this point, was too much.

After that I decided, with mom's help, that having a landloard who was less concerned with credit than with a 'quiet' tenet I would take the one bedroom. It is a little farther from school, a quick bus ride every day but it is nice.

So I called the landloard and told him that I would take it. We frantically went to find an atm that would give me enough money then money orders to go with that, then headed back up to sign the papers. Sadly the landlaord did not have the lease papers for me to sign so I didnt do that and mom didnt want me to give him the total first months rent and deposit until I sign the papers. I gave him a 200 dollar deposit instead and we have to go back AGAIN tomorrow.

On a side note, I miss Eugene and Oregon, in general, landloards who do not stick their noses into your business. I was explaining that I probably wouldnt put stuff into the aparment until the end of the weekend because we had the hotel and he went off about how there is no need to stay in the hotel if we have the apartment.... minus the lack of sleeping equiptment in the apartment and the other fact that mom doesnt get a refund from the hotel... O well.

For those of you that are wondering... my new address is....
Annie Erickson
666 Mace Avenue #2R
Bronx, NY 10467-7624

So there it is. I am a New Yorker now. OMG! Look for more updates and I get closer to the school year.

Looking at the name of this blog

I just realized that the name of this blog is kind of outdated now...hmm.. I might have to change the name (not the site address)....

anyway...

Today. Today has been an interesting day. It was a day full of morning academics. Academics = no use for Annie. O well. I sat around most of the morning then we to get Thai food for the senior staff. The Thai food was actually pretty good compaired to last time, though I felt like it almost had no flavor. But it was better than caf (cafiteria) food! Then I took a nap instead of going to actual lunch. That was nice but I think it was too long but I couldnt recover. O well. Then there was the cell phone debockle. The system we have set up for cell phone use is SO stupid. Kids are not allowed to keep their cell phones, so we put them in baggies and put tags in with them. Then for a half hour a day they can use them but they have to return them. If the dont return them... there are no consequences. WE are not even holding them up for dinner anymore. Hwo sad is that? AT least if we hold them up for dinner the teams held them responsible. Not any more...no reason to turn in their cell phones. O well. I cant run the store and do cell phones at the same time... We shall see how it goes.

For all my loyal fans, only 8 days till I head to the city. Look for updates as soon as possible when I get to the city starting Aug 6th!

Surviving

That's aboout all it is right now. I am surviving. Kathie's mom died yesterday, which hit me pretty hard. The issue was more for Kathie and the family rather than Thelma passing, because I know how much they all loved her and grieving my own gradmother some more. Then yesterday I had to move again here at camp, it's really frustrating to have to move every 1- days. I was hoping to have a summer home here but I have given up on that idea. Moving so much makes unpacking hard so I just left it in the suitcases this time. O well.

Just an update from Ithaca. Ill be in NYC in 10 days. I am super looking forward to something different than beautiful Ithaca.


PS. Ithaca reminds me SO much of Oregon, Eugene in particular. The downtown here had hippy shops and smelled like Eugene.... gotta love it.

Poetry Night

Tonight is poetry night at camp. Poetry always makes me feel like writing. Now instead of writing in a journal, which I never felt comfortable, I write on this. At least with a blog I feel like there is some purpose, others readying my inner thoughts.



I love to write anything and everything down. I feel most comfortable when I have an outlet. Whether or not people read this, I really don't care. I only write what I want others to see. Which is totally fine.

As for poetry, I love to write it but I am not a fan of reading it. As with most literature, I always feel clueless. I try to get the concepts that people point out, and I try to read every word, but it seems there is always a distraction or a lack of confidence in myself that leads me to not understand. I have long wondered if I suffer from dislyxia, which my sister has, because I tend to mix up letters and number as well as have issues sounding out and spelling words. It is hard to be a college graduate and not be able to spell like one. I also feel like my writing should be better than it is and that I lack the skill. I am working slowing on my self confidence and camp really helps in that.

I do have to say, on the camp note, looking over my life in the past four years, since I was first introduced to the 8 keys of excellence, I see myself using them more and more. The eight keys are
~integerty
~failure leads to success
~this is it
~speak with good purpose
~commitment
~ownership
~flexability
~balance

These eight keys were researched by SuperCamp's founder and were the most common atributes to successful people. In looking at these keys, and my life as it is now, I believe the most important key for me is the key THIS IS IT. I see myself living by this key as I tyrpe. I am moving to NYC, I am loving the spot that I am in, and I am taking my relationship one day at a time (ERic and I are GREAT FYI).

Random side note, I told a team leader today about Eric and I and how we are not sure if he will be in NYC and she said "I'd tell him if he was serious that he HAD to move to NYC" but she said I was being very mature and it is amazing how I can want him to be happy more than need to be with him. I want him to be happy, I need him to be happy, other wise I cannot see us working out. I cant live with regret and neither can he. I will not move for him, because I need to be me, and so why should I tell him he needs to move for me?! Makes sense. she said. Gotta love being 22 right!?! (the TL is 22). Gotta love life. Time to head up to the dorms to sell more water and food before bed.

Love yall and I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings.


ps. leave some love so I know someone is reading!