A great week off

I have a fabulous week off. I got to enjoy some sun...met a guy ...who is of course currently living in the sf bay area... in town for the weekend. Got to spend a couple of days in the city.. just walking and enjoying the city life. Got some new work books... gotta love it. I am really trying to work on the behavioral narration. It is a HUGE thing in this book that I got. I have to narrate every behavior that I want to see within the first ten seconds and make sure every child is corrected in the first minute. Then hopefully after that they should all be perfect..right?

I tired it today in class... it takes a LOT of narration. It is only the first day but it seemed to maybe work for at least the first part of the day. I have to work on my stamina. Stamina is the most important thing. The longer I can go without being frustrated with the children the better off both of us will be. I had a small victory today with my child that loves to run and scream in the classroom. He didn't! He only ran once I think and only screamed when he left the classroom at the end of the day. It was quite interesting. I am working hard on the behavioral narration as well as the clear instructions. The thing that is still happening is the talking. They talk a lot. And I know that I have not corrected the correct way in the past so I am working very hard.....

The big question now is do I really want to put myself through that next year. It has been a hard year. I know it has. I know it is because of the way that I have acted. I have never been put in this type of a situation, but the lack of respect is the biggest issue for me. It is hard to sit and have so many kids just off the bat disrespect me. I know kids in Oregon are not that way. I know that it could/would be different in Oregon but I am trying to figure out if I want to teach at all. Do I want to put myself through this again. I say it time and time again, I didn't get into this to write curriculum. I didn't get into this to discipline kids all day long. I want to teach. I want to spend my time getting to know my kids instead of trying make sure that they can fucking walk down the hall. I just don't know what I will be doing come June! That's a tough spot to be. O well. Ill do something I guess.